weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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