im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
