just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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