Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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