Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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