Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
