You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
