I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize