Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
