North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
