Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
