it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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