It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
