I can tuck mytits in my pants
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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