Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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