And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
