Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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