I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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