If i come over, it means nothing
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I stole a fireplace last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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