singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
