Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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