i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
