help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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