i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
