Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
