oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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