I cockslap morals
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My feet surprised me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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