You work out of a Hotel?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
