Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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