You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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