Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
