I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize