Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
