Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize