the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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