I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
