So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
