She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
