What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
