so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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