Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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