Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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