My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My dick has a subreddit
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize