im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
