We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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