pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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