Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
