I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
