im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
