I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
