i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize