it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
