she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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