Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
