I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
