I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
