i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dicks are not precious.
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