so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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