The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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