"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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