Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
