did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
