Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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