dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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