yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
