And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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