Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
