I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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