I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
