I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
