When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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