We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
