we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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