listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
