Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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