so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
