girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize